I recently submitted to write for The Onion for the second time. Here are 10 story ideas that I did not use but enjoyed.
- World’s First Sentient Plastic Bag Killed While Playing With Toddler
- Older California Raisins Have Trouble Hearing Grapevine
- On A Quest For Normalcy, Man Watches “Benjamin Button” Backwards
- Wide Leg Jeans Develop Eating Disorder When Sharing Rack With Skinny Jeans
- Man Living In Glass House Regrets Calling Idiom’s Bluff
- World Ends When FailBlog Makes Mistake Posting About Its Mistake
- School’s Horse Play Cancelled Due To Cast Members Fooling Around Too Much, Irony
- College Kid And Ball Reunited 12 Years After It Went In Creepy Neighbor’s Yard
- Overpampering Parents Choose To Learn Baby Talk Over Forcing Child To Learn English
- NFL Player Satisfied Enough With Leading Virtual Self To Madden Title
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