May
29
2009
1

Freddie Prinze, Jr. On 24

Freddie Prinze, Jr. has joined the cast of “24″ as the Head of Field Ops for CTU. I’m sorry, what?!? What qualifies him to this role? His expert crime fighting in the Scooby Doo movies? Sure, his Fred was a revelation but this is Jack Bauer! I’ve decided to come up with some ways for this to work.

  • Jack bets Freddie that he can’t make any girl into the hottest girl at CTU. They pick Chloe and Freddie ends up realizing that no matter how hot he makes her, he can’t make her less awkward. There’s only so much that can be done in 24 hours. Jack wins.
  • Freddie is a talented baseball prospect working at CTU for the summer to earn some extra cash. Chloe finds him appealing but Jack doesn’t approve and keeps Chloe from getting too serious since it would only last for the summer. We pick up Season 8 as Freddie finds out he’s getting called up to the Phillies on his last day at CTU. In the midst of foiling a terrorist attack, Freddie is shot and dies in Jack’s arms. Jack tells Freddie that he was good enough for Chloe as he breathes his last breath never getting the chance to play pro ball. A real case of Major(s) Irony.
  • CTU is reformed and now stands for the Cosmic Terrorist Unit stopping terrorism not only globally but universally. The Kilrathi, a race of “cat-like aliens,” is threatening Earth and, more importantly, Los Angeles. Jack and Freddie take their fighter crafts out to thwart the Kilrathi but find their ships’ armor to be impenetrable. Chloe comes up with a way to give the Kilrathi mother ship a cold or a virus, a computer…virus. Jack and Freddie save the day.*
  • Before being brought on to CTU, Freddie, Jack, and Chloe were good friends. They hung out all the time and partied. One summer night, while driving back from a club, Chloe and Freddie were involved in some horseplay. Distracted, Jack did not see the Stereotypical Arab Terrorist crossing the road. Jack, not wanting to have to deal with more disciplinary action, convince Chloe and Freddie to help him dispose of the body. They don’t speak of it again until the start of Season 8 when CTU intercepts some chatter claiming to know what they did one year ago. Could it be that Stereotypical Arab Terrorist? Jack can’t take the chance.
* The plot of Wing Commander was not strong enough so I had to bolster it with some Independence Day.
Written by admin in: 24,chloe,ctu,freddie prinze jr,independence day,jack bauer,scooby doo,season 8,she's all that,summer catch,wing commander |
May
29
2009
0

More Sally Forth

You know, I was never much into comic strips but when you are a character in one, it makes them so much more appealing. After an unnecessary two-day hiatus, Kevin returns in today’s “Sally Forth.” I know my character is just picking on Ted all the time but I think we need to know more of my back story. I feel delving into what makes Kevin tick would bring this comic up to Sally FIRST. Am I right? I am. Write your local Sally Forth-carrying newspaper and ask for more Kevin and I’ll keep bothering the author.

Written by admin in: comic strip,francesco marciuliano,kevin tor,me in comic strip form,sally forth |
May
27
2009
2

NoBuddies – Bill’s Game Intervention (Episode 10)

This episode is based on a good friend of mine’s love for video game hockey. There are really people out there like this and awareness needs to be raised. Can you tell this was actually the 4th episode we shot even though it airs 10th? That’s why there’s the sound issues that you all thought we took care of. The rest of the season will have the pristine sound you have come to enjoy in the last 5 or so episodes. Thanks for watching.

Bill takes his hockey game a little too seriously. Gray and Cal intervene.

Writer’s Note – That is not my hand on Bill’s upper thigh. It is an unfortunate screen capture.

Bill – William Franke
Gray – Sean McCormack
Cal – Kevin Tor

Directed by William Franke
Written by Kevin Tor

Music – “Flow is Special” by rockamic (ccMixter)

Written by admin in: hockey,intervention,kevin tor,nobuddies,rokamic,sean mccormack,sue white,video game,william franke |
May
27
2009
1

Monday’s Sally Forth

If you are like me then you felt the Sally Forth from yesterday did not give enough back story on the character of Kevin, based on me. Where did Kevin come from? This smart ass appears out of nowhere? Why is he so mean to Ces, I mean Ted? Well, fear not. Kevin appeared in the Monday strip which I missed out on because I was too busy patriotizing the world. Anyway, this should clear up any confusion from the Tuesday strip so enjoy me again. I’m textually hilarious.

Written by admin in: francesco marciuliano,kevin tor,me in comic strip form,sally forth,ted forth |
May
26
2009
2

I’m In Sally Forth!

Being friends with the person who writes a comic strip has its perks as evidenced by today’s Sally Forth. I play the role of Kevin which I do adequately in real life but awesomely in newsprint. I’m going to have to start having Ces script my real life because he makes me so much funnier than I really am. Check me out and laugh!

Thanks, Ces!
Written by admin in: comic strip,francesco marciuliano,kevin tor,sally forth |
May
22
2009
1

Bond On A Budget

There was this game on Twitter yesterday called #budgetbond. Some of the comics I follow (Paul Scheer, Dan Telfer, and Megan Ganz) were making up titles for James Bond movies if they had less of a budget. You’ll see what I mean. I thought I would try to come up with something for every movie. (Click here for a list to compare.)

  1. Pre-Med Student No
  2. From Ronkonkama With Love
  3. Pyritefinger
  4. Partly Cloudyball
  5. You Only Live Twice, But Let’s Shoot For Once
  6. On Her Majesty’s Paul Blart Mall Cop
  7. Chocolates Are Good Til The “Sell By” Date Unless Refrigerated
  8. Live and Squat Die
  9. The Man with the Regular Ol’ Gun
  10. The Spy Who Passed Me On The Street Once
  11. Front Yardraker
  12. For Your Eye Only
  13. Nopussy
  14. A Quick Glimpse to a Kill
  15. The Living DayCandles
  16. Learner’s Permit to Kill
  17. GoldenAppendix
  18. Tomorrow Never Dies, You’ll Have To Trust Us
  19. The World Turned Out To Be Enough
  20. Dying One Day Was Acceptable
  21. Casino Plebe
  22. Half a Quantum of Solace
Well, that’s it. Some of them I love. Some are obvious. Some are the last two I came up with. Can you guess which disasters those were? I bet you can.
Written by admin in: budget,james bond,parody,twitter |
May
21
2009
1

American Idol – Finale (Part 2)

Well, this is it. The last American Idol blog for 2009. It’s been a good run and I can’t believe I stayed with it throughout. That last part was more in regards to the whole finale than the season. Even fast forwarding the commercials, it lasted a good six days. I missed four BBQs. It was a great season and a crazy ending. Sometimes life smacks you across the face with a hand made of money. It wakes you up and is upsetting until you realize you get to keep the hand. Move on? Sure.

The Idols – So What? – The white clothes are brutal. They look like they are starring in a Hip Hop video in the Arctic but they sound like Kidz Bop. Can I get this with a happy meal at McDonald’s? The following is not from last night’s finale:

David Cook - “Permanent” - He’s singing a song without actual words. It’s just warbling. It’s nice.
Lil Rounds & Queen Latifah – “Cue The Rain” – Lil’s wig is the best one yet and Queen Latifah forgot the other half of her jacket. The performance is awkward but that’s just because the song is awful and they are struggling to remember their choreography. Twirl your finger by your temple when you get to the word “insane!” Both of you! What is this, Amateur Hour???
Anoop Desai, Alexis Grace, & Jason Mraz – “I’m Yours” – Anoop starts it off nice. He can really sing (Thanks, Randy). Too bad the judges wanted nothing to do with him. Alexis, dressed like her favorite pirate lass, should not be paired with this song. Her voice doesn’t fit it. Jason Mraz is wonderful, like Kris Allen. Anoop, Alexis, and Jason sound fine together and then…the rest of the gang joins to ruin everything. Nice job, ruiners. 
Kris Allen & Keith Urban – “Kiss A Girl” – It’s interesting that Kris gets Keith Urban and one song and Adam gets a giant KISS medley but I’m getting ahead of myself. Kris seems to be having a good time and that’s all that matters. Just go out there and have fun. It doesn’t matter who wins. Though, at times, it feels like a hockey game where the ice is tilted 75 degrees towards Kris’ goal. Kris has to swing with all his little arms have to make it to Adam’s goal.
The Girls & Fergie – “Glamorous” & “Big Girls Don’t Cry” – I used to like Spiggles, right? Do you think they tell Spiggles not to sing directly into the mic unless it’s her solo? Fergie sounds pretty terrible too and I love her. Why are they ruining “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” It’s my anthem.
Black Eyed Peas – “Boom Boom Boom” –  There are weird faceless zebra people in the background dancing. Their combined movements make you feel like you’re in an Escher drawing. I’m bothered so much. I bet Simon’s enjoying this. This is his jam. He probably throws in an extra boom when he’s “managing” his sexy violin quartet, Escala. Hot violinists: They’re real and they’re spectacular!
Kara & Bikini Girl – “Vision of Love” – Bikini Girl, in bikini, begins the song with all the passion of Kristin Wiig as the Girl A-Hole (see below). Kara joins her on stage and outsings her easily. Kara has a good voice amongst all the crazy and idiocy. At the end, she throws open her dress to reveal her own bikini. She looked good.
Allison Iraheta & Cindy Lauper – “Time After Time” – Is this fair to Anoop? He sang such a beautiful version of “True Colors.” I guess Anoop got all he deserved (2 lines at the beginning of “I’m Yours”). Lauper rocked the slide guitar while sitting like a man. Nice. Why was this song picked for Allison? I bet Michael Slezak is disappointed at EW. It was actually pretty good but I wanted Rocker Allison, not Tender Allison.
Danny Gokey & Lionel Richie – “Hello” & “Just Go” & “All Night Long” – A good pick for Danny with “Hello.” Did anyone else notice that he sang the Lionel Richie part on “Just Go” because he was so excited to be up there? It’s a nice moment for Danny. Lionel Richie looks great, too. Sometimes older people come on Idol and look terrible (See Disco Week). 
Adam Lambert & KISS – “Beth” & “Get Up Everybody” & “Rock and Roll All Night” – It’s very good. This fits him like a glove. Is he going to make an album of Queen, Kiss, and Led Zeppelin-like music? Can he make an album with Jack White? Adam ruled this finale.
Matt Giraud & Carlos Santana – “Black Magic Woman” & “Smooth” – My wife asked me why Matt was wearing a Michael Jackson jacket. Because they didn’t want to make him always look like Justin Timberlake. I thought the answer should make as much sense as the jacket. All the singers join in for “Smooth” and…mess everything up. Do you notice a trend? Is this what the Idol tour is like? Oof.
Megan Joy, Michael Sarver, & Steve Martin – “Pretty Flowers” – Let’s do this like Simon for old time’s sake. Megan won this round by a clear mile. A million percent better. Michael, it was ok, but Megan was better. I think you’re in trouble. Sorry.
The Guys – “If You Think I’m Sexy” – Please stop.
Rod Stewart – “Maggie May” – The opposite of what I was saying about Lionel Richie. The older he gets, the more he looks like Hillary Clinton. Almost trumped Lil Rounds and Smokey Robinson for creepiest performance of the season. Almost.
Adam Lambert & Kris Allen & Queen – “We Are The Champions” – Adam sounded great the whole way. Kris sounded good when there was no heavy music behind him. When there was, I think they turned his mic off because I only heard Adam. They were joined by what I was hoping was the cast of Glee but I was wrong. It ended with some nice hugs between the two finalists. 
AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 8 WINNER – Kris Allen
Final Thoughts – I hope Kris gets to make the album he wants. David Cook seemed to so there could be hope. Adam has a ridiculous voice and he’ll do fine. I don’t know if I’ll buy his album but I’ll go see him on Broadway. My favorite has won 2 years in a row now. My brain is getting too mainstream. Congratulations to all the Idol contestants (except Jorge). I’m looking forward to albums from Anoop Desai, Allison Iraheta, Matt Giraud, Alexis Grace, and Jesse Langseth. Maybe Ricky Braddy. Farewell to Idol until 2010. Thanks for reading.
Written by admin in: adam lambert,allison iraheta,american idol,anoop desai,finale,kidz bop,kiss,kris allen,lil rounds,paula abdul,queen,queen latifah,ryan seacrest,simon cowell |
May
20
2009
3

American Idol – Finale (Part 1)

Adam versus Kris. This is what we’ve all been waiting for. To be honest, I don’t care who wins because I got to hear Kris sing as much as he possibly could on the show. There is no next week. Wait, what am I going to blog about? Oh no. I’m going to have to come up with original things. I don’t have those. Hold on. Deep breath. We can cross that bridge when we come to it. (Stay far away from me, Friday!) Tonight’s episode will feature a song they sang during the season (eh), a pick from the creator of the show (only chance at enjoyment), and the Idol song (oof).

Adam Lambert – “Mad World” – There was no way he was doing anything else. Simon gave him a standing ovation when he sang it the first time. Those are as rare as Randy not booing when Ryan introduces Simon. He was dressed like he was going to fight the Agents from The Matrix. I actually waited for Adam to dodge bullets in slow motion but he just sang the song instead. The performance was not as good as the first time he did it but it was still good. Randy loved that he sang something from the season which was good because he was supposed to. Oh, Randy. Simon thought it was overtheatrical. I would agree.
Kris Allen – “Ain’t No Sunshine” – Kris’ parents are taking over for Anoop’s in terms of adorable. He didn’t like to sing in front of his parents so they would pay him a quarter to make him sing. One time, he gave his mom coupons that she could redeem for his singing. She called it “the best present ever.” Are you swooning? My Kris Krush is getting larger. It was great just like the first time he did it. I actually expected him to do “Heartless” but this one was just as good. He had so many to choose from because he’s awesome. Simon honestly didn’t think Kris should have been safe last week. Really? Gokey?
Adam Lambert – “A Change Is Gonna Come” – I love this song. The opening line was awesome and then it was dull and then it finished all Lambert-y. The judges loved it. He’s just not my style. Still, he’ll make a good Idol winner.
Kris Allen – “What’s Going On” – It is so good. Is it sad that I see no competition with who is more talented in this finale? He just makes every song something I want to download. It was such a cool version of this song though Simon didn’t think it was any different. Gokey would have done it better, I’m sure. 
Adam Lambert – “No Boundaries” – The background singer is ruining this song which is a shame because the song is bad enough to ruin itself. I hate to be a conspiracy theorist but doesn’t this song seem like only Adam can sing it? How can Kris sing this song? This is going to be worse than “Renegade.” Anyway, Adam did this song as well as it can be done. I hope that’s saying much. Adam will and should win it all.
Kris Allen – “No Boundaries” –  I really don’t want to hear Kris sing this song. I anticipated disaster and he may have averted it though it’s not likely. This is one of those rare times on Idol that you can give a contestant an A for effort. Congratulations on a fantastic season, Kris! Sorry this had to be the last performance.
Winner – Adam Lambert
Written by admin in: adam lambert,american idol,finale,kris allen,paula abdul,ryan seacrest,simon cowell |
May
18
2009
3

Tor’s News Nuggets: 5/18/09

7-11 is selling an Apocalyptic Slurpee. This is in honor of the new Terminator movie starring Christian Bale. I feel like there was already an Acopalyptic Slurpee. Maybe I’m just remembering that the last time I finished a Slurpee, I got so ill I wanted the world to end.

The Hubble Telescope was believed to be on its last legs but 1 billion dollars in repairs may have bought it 5 to 10 more years in space. You would think for 1 billion dollars, it would live forever. They should have used Magic Johnson’s guy. He can fix anything.
A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. You know, just because she’s eligible for the Early Bird doesn’t mean she has to partake in the worm.
A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. At least when her water breaks, the splash will be minimal. (Because her vagina is by her knees.  I am so sorry.)
A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. When her kid’s friends call her a MILF, it will stand for Mom I’d Like to Feed the ducks with.
A 66-year-old British woman is going to be a mother for the first time. I saved the biggest joke for last: the kid’s childhood.
Written by admin in: 7-11,hubble telescope,milf,pregnant geezers,slurpee,terminator,tor's news nuggets |
May
14
2009
3

American Idol – Top 3 (Part 2)

Dear Danny,

To say my feelings for you have changed since I started blogging this season of American Idol would be a nice way of putting it. It’s not your fault that the judges were incapable of giving you any negative comments except for the occasional “clumsy” or “too much swagger.” You and Adam were their favorite and, conspiracy theories about Simon helping you through so his March prediction on Leno would be correct aside, you used to be my favorite. Therefore, I feel it’s only right that I go back in time and ask March Kevin to write the goodbye.
Sincerely,
Current Kevin
~~SCENE~~
Current Kevin gets in a time machine and goes back to March 18. He walks into March Kevin.
March Kevin
What the-
Current Kevin
There’s no time for that. I’m you from the future.
March Kevin
I guess not very far in the future.
Current Kevin
I’m from May. I need you to write a letter saying goodbye to Danny Gokey from American Idol for the blog. He got voted off in Top 3 week.
March Kevin
You have a time machine and this is what you use it for. Did something happen to me that resulted in brain damage? I’d like to avoid it.
Current Kevin
Look, can you do it? I wanted Danny to get a nice send-off and I can’t do it because I don’t like him anymore.
March Kevin
Wow. You did have an accident. How could you not like Danny?
Current Kevin
You’ll see. Just write the letter. Do it for Danny.
March Kevin sits down and writes the letter. He hands it to Current Kevin.
Current Kevin
Well, good luck to you.
March Kevin
So how are the Mets doing?
Current Kevin
Ok.
March Kevin
Oliver Perez?
Current Kevin
Just as you feared. Farewell.
Current Kevin gets back in the time machine.
~~END SCENE~~
This is what March Me wrote:
Dear Danny,

I was saddened to hear that you will be voted off American Idol. I have enjoyed the performances of yours that I have seen. I’m guessing it’s a travesty that you are not going to make the Finals. Seriously, though, what happened? You were the front runner. I heard Qkcrisseette got in over you. How did that happen? What did you do? Did you stop playing the wife card? I’m just baffled. I just watched you sing “Jesus Take The Wheel” and it was fantastic. You deserve better than third in my book. Well, my March book. You will be missed when the time comes for me to miss you. Make a great album, Gokes.

Sincerely,
March Kevin
Final Thoughts: I forgot that I called him Gokes. Wow, that takes me back. I was as shocked as Kris when they said he was safe. I am so happy. Now, it doesn’t matter who wins. I get my money’s worth of Kris and we move on. Though, as much as I like Kris, how awful would a Kris/Danny finale have been? Eek. Lowest ratings ever. Danny had a great run and he will sell some records. I see him having an Elliot Yamin-like career even though that doesn’t seem to fit him. Then again, it doesn’t fit what I saw for Elliot either. See you next week when Adam takes the crown and Kris gets to sing three more songs. Everybody wins!
Written by admin in: adam lambert,american idol,danny gokey,finals,kris allen,paula abdul,ryan seacrest,simon cowell,top 3 |
Older Posts »

Powered by WordPress | Theme: Aeros 2.0 by TheBuckmaker.com