Kevin Tor

The Butterface parody got posted on the ninemsn MusicFIX blog this morning in Australia leading to a bunch more views and a bunch more positive comments. It also lead to this picture:

One thing, though: If they took the time to find such a hot picture of Lady GaGa, they couldn’t take the time to find one of my sexier poses. I looked hotter in other scenes. In all my life, I’ve never had one good drag cutout. 

Thanks to Sam at ninemsn for blogging this!

Growing up in Jersey, I was pretty psyched that Z100 played my song. So psyched that when I was in the shower, I decided to practice my interview for when I would be on because they were totally going to call me up and ask me about it. Here is how I imagined the interview:

Elvis Duran

We’re on with Kevin Tor, writer of the parody Butterface.

Kevin

What’s going on, Elvis?

Elvis Duran

Very funny stuff.

Kevin

Thank you.

Elvis Duran

What made you write it?

Kevin

It just popped into my head after hearing Poker Face. So I wrote the lyrics and met with my friends Eric Fortin and Jen Kwok and we threw it together.

Elvis Duran

Jen Kwok sang it.

Kevin

That’s correct. She did a great job and she was the body in the video.

Elvis Duran

That’s what I wanted to get to. You made a video for this song that is just as funny.

Kevin

Yeah, we shot it at Comix, a comedy club I sometimes perform at.

Elvis Duran

In New York City.

Kevin

That’s right.

Elvis Duran

…

Kevin

So…

The interview keeps going but I thought I’d stop here to spare you. Even my fantasy interview with Z100 is boring! It’s a freakin’ fantasy! There should be clowns and money given to me in exorbitant amounts that I don’t deserve for writing a song parody! I can’t even make Z100′s morning show awesome in my dreams! That should be a major determining factor in who wins this war.

I am better than Z100. What would you rather have? A successful, syndicated professional morning show or a guy who blogs to 10 people on a weekly basis? I turn that decision over to you, radio stations. I could be your future. I’ve made 2 song parodies in the last 2 years. How many have they made? Hundreds? It’s all about quality and I haven’t heard theirs but mine’s better because my mother says so. That’s right, radio stations. I have my mother’s backing. Do they?

-This message is paid for by the committee to give Kevin Tor all the radio stations that Elvis Duran and his morning show appear on.

Sweatiness: Ruben Studdard always looks like the guy who is having a heart attack but is going to smile and play it off like nothing is wrong. I fast forwarded but the parts I stopped on sounded nice.

Creepiness: Smokey Robinson looked like a real old man in hot pursuit of Joss Stone. He just needed to wheeze, “I’m comin’ to getcha” as he waddled towards her and security would have been necessary. And his dreamy eyes were reminiscent of Michael Jackson before he changed (in the Thriller video not in real life).

Awesomeness: Stevie Wonder can still rock at whatever age he’s at. The older he gets, the more he looks like the Super Orc from Lord of The Rings but that doesn’t mean that Orc can’t party. He is one of the greats and it was really cool to see the Idol contestants make fools of themselves fawning over him on stage. I would have. Did I see repeated Wayne’s World “We’re not worthy” gestures from Anoop, Lil, and Kqwriss? I think I did.

Matt Giraud – He should not be in the Bottom 3. He was one of the tops of the night and gave his best performance since “Georgia” in Hollywood Week. Fortunately, he did not go home. I’m not sure if I like him yet but he’s too good to find himself in this position.

Scott MacIntyre – I didn’t think he was going home but at least America is starting to send him there. This was an important first step in his eventual booting (Next week? Hmm?). It’s not fair to him to be ripped apart by the judges. Have mercy on him. He’s on the tour. That should be enough.

Michael Sarver – I feel like he’s a better singer than Scott but he is not going to win like Simon said. This was the end for Michael and he left with the dignity and humor that got him this far. In fact, I thought his farewell performance of “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” was the best he’s been in a while. I also liked how he told Lil she was fine before Ryan did and how he pointed at Matt for the guy who shouldn’t be in the Bottom 3. The best part is that you could tell he meant it.  Part of me wishes he could hang out every week and just not sing.

Final Thought: I was partially hoping Lil would get in the Bottom 3 to scare her into upping her game but when it was between her and Michael, I stopped rooting for that. It was good to see Allison get the broken Windows treatment. (She got rebooted in Safe Mode? Yeah, that wasn’t that good.) Spiggles is around for another week so hopefully she’ll pick a good song and not go down in flames. See you next week.

Matt Giraud – “Let’s Get It On” – It started off really good and really cool. Even original. Then he left the piano and it went back to how it always sounds. Still good but I thought it was going to be awesome when it started. Does anyone else get stuck staring at that flesh mole in the middle of his forehead? It works for Russell Crowe but I think that’s because Russell’s is about an inch and a half south of Matt’s. Maybe the Idol stylists can move it down.

CKrissss Allen – “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)” – It was very good. He sounds so much like Jason Mraz and I love Jason Mraz. He moves up on my favorites list each week. Don’t you just want to squeeze him until he gets one of those blood vessel pops in his eye? Then you’d look at him and think, “Man, he’d be perfect if he didn’t have that red thing in his eye. I still like him, though.” I’m just saying, you need a flaw, Qwrisse.

Scott MacIntyre – “You Can’t Hurry Love” – Or this song for that matter. Wait, did that make sense? I tried to do what Simon does where he takes the lyric and uses it against the singer. Anyway, it was boring and the judges finally threw away the “we can’t say he was bad because he’s blind” attitude. In fact, Simon was extra cruel and at one point, it looked like Scott might tear up a bit. Fortunately, those parts of his eyes don’t work either and he should find himself in the Bottom 3.

Megan Joy – “For Once In My Life” – Spiggles did not bring it this week. I don’t know if there were any notes that she hit. She’s officially occupied the “The camera loves you” distinction for Season 8. I love her but I think it’s time for her to go.

Anoop Desai – “Ooo Baby Baby” – I like that they raided Kevin Arnold’s closet for Anoop. That brings it to retro real easy. He just needed to ride out on the stage with Paul Pfeiffer on matching Schwinns. The performance was pretty good. At least good enough to move on.

Michael Sarver – “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” – He had some fun out there. He’s like an offensive lineman who had a great game protecting the quarterback and then jumped up on the bench in the locker room and starting belting out a tune in his towel. Was that Varsity Blues? Necessary Roughness? It was something. Anyway, he needs to go. Can we send off 3 this week? I don’t even need to see the rest of the show to pick my Bottom 3.

Lil Rounds – “Heat Wave” – It seemed like Motown week was made for her. They showed her genuinely breaking down upon seeing Motown Records. They dressed her up like a Dreamgirls extra. It was all for Lil Rounds and then the song started. Not good. Good thing three other people already sucked. Apparently, this is the same song that landed Kimberley Locke and Jennifer Hudson in the Bottom 3 during their time on Idol. “Heat Wave” is Idol poison. Anyway, Simon saved her by saying she’s one of the best singers in the competition so she should be fine as long as people stop pitying Scott.

Adam Lambert – “Tracks Of Our Tears” – The Elvis look for this week is a little gross but I guess he’s rolling with his lip curl. It was really good. Even I am pro-Adam tonight. At some points, I wished it wasn’t sung as high but he still nailed it. I’m giving him a pass this week from excessive ridicule. Well done, Adam.

Danny Gokey – “Get Ready” – Danny needs to stop having fun and get back into the competition. He should skate to the Top 5 but there are two guys (Kkckristte and Adam) that have moved ahead of him in my opinion. Time to step it up, Gokes.

Allison Iraheta – “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone” – This may not have been the best performance but it was my favorite. She’s so good. She better not be in the Bottom 3 again. That was a travesty. Also, shame on Simon for taking attention away from Allison with the juvenile Paula mustache. He couldn’t do that during Scott or Michael’s? Poor. Simon’s getting me more agitated this year than usual.

Bottom 3 – Scott, Michael, and Megan. I have a bad feeling that Lil might be in it but I’m going to stay strong and hope that America does not vote for Scott. The criticism from the judges is just going to get worse for him if he stays. If you care about him, you’ll let him go, America.

Going Home – Michael Sarver

However, since that review was limited to 300 words, I thought I would post my unabridged review here.

We’ve all been to an amusement park. You rode the swings until your legs lost feeling or your shoe fell off. You picked your poison between funnel cake and cotton candy. You kept playing skee ball until you earned enough tickets to get six spider rings and jacks or the ball for jacks but not both. You spent forty bucks for that handful of nothing and you wonder how anyone can get the 40,000 tickets needed for that toaster oven with the fabric-covered power cord coated in 25 years of dust. You swore never to go back.

Adventureland, written and directed by Greg Mottola, follows James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg), a guy who is forced to go back. James expected to spend the summer after college seeing Europe but instead had to get a job working at Adventureland, the local amusement park. His crappy parents reneged on their graduation present because his father had to take a pay cut at work or something. I don’t know. It was hard to relate to this part given today’s economy. Regardless, love, pot ingestion, sack taps, and carnival game-related hi-jinks ensue.

Those expecting Superbad 2 will not receive it. This is a retelling of the director’s own experiences working at an amusement park one summer. The movie is personal and is presented as such. You experience everything James is going through from the disappointment with his parents to his increasing romantic feelings for the grown-up version of the cute, little boy from Panic Room (Kristen Stewart).

While the actors are great, the real star is the soundtrack. (I will be accepting punches to the face for the awfulness of that last sentence.) It features 80s music from The Cure, Husker Du, Lou Reed, New York Dolls, and more. Each song fits the situation perfectly. The last movie that used music this well was Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist and look how that turned out.

See this movie if you hate summer jobs, your parents, the 90s, cancer, or bad movies.

Finally, some things I learned while watching:

• Erections were not easy to hide in pants from the late 80s.
• Martin Starr plays misunderstood geek like no other.
• It’s weird to see the guy who killed vampires in Blade III make out with the girl that was in love with a vampire in Twilight. Now that’s range.
• It really wasn’t anything like Superbad.
• Ryan Reynolds doesn’t have to play the same character in every movie.
• You can use a single lesser-known fact about Charles Dickens to pick up a girl.

However, since that review was limited to 300 words, I thought I would post my unabridged review here.

We’ve all been to an amusement park. You rode the swings until your legs lost feeling or your shoe fell off. You picked your poison between funnel cake and cotton candy. You kept playing skee ball until you earned enough tickets to get six spider rings and jacks or the ball for jacks but not both. You spent forty bucks for that handful of nothing and you wonder how anyone can get the 40,000 tickets needed for that toaster oven with the fabric-covered power cord coated in 25 years of dust. You swore never to go back.

Adventureland, written and directed by Greg Mottola, follows James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg), a guy who is forced to go back. James expected to spend the summer after college seeing Europe but instead had to get a job working at Adventureland, the local amusement park. His crappy parents reneged on their graduation present because his father had to take a pay cut at work or something. I don’t know. It was hard to relate to this part given today’s economy. Regardless, love, pot ingestion, sack taps, and carnival game-related hi-jinks ensue.

Those expecting Superbad 2 will not receive it. This is a retelling of the director’s own experiences working at an amusement park one summer. The movie is personal and is presented as such. You experience everything James is going through from the disappointment with his parents to his increasing romantic feelings for the grown-up version of the cute, little boy from Panic Room (Kristen Stewart).

While the actors are great, the real star is the soundtrack. (I will be accepting punches to the face for the awfulness of that last sentence.) It features 80smusic from The Cure, Husker Du, Lou Reed, New York Dolls, and more. Each song fits the situation perfectly. The last movie that used music this well was Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist and look how that turned out.

See this movie if you hate summer jobs, your parents, the 90s, cancer, or bad movies.

Finally, some things I learned while watching:

• Erections were not easy to hide in pants from the late 80s.
• Martin Starr plays misunderstood geek like no other.
• It’s weird to see the guy who killed vampires in Blade III make out with the girl that was in love with a vampire in Twilight. Now that’s range.
• It really wasn’t anything like Superbad.
• Ryan Reynolds doesn’t have to play the same character in every movie.
• You can use a single lesser-known fact about Charles Dickens to pick up a girl.

KEV,

Please feel free to write me anytime. As for the words I chose…yeah a little bit was with the thought in ind that the person I was writing to might not believe it possible to have to parodies with the same title. It has happeded to me all too often. No, I DON’T THINK about nor do I care aboUt legal issues because no internet parody writer HAS THE portential or ABILITY TO REALLY MAKE IT an issue or be able to prove it (Nothing to do with you by th way ). I just CAN’T STAND it when guys who do it for fun (not YOU) can’t fathom someone who does it as a career coming up with the same brilliant idea as them. EVEN WORSE when people think that every parody ever written WAS written by Weird Al…even my songs by female singers!

My friend Eric Schwartz (Smooth E) who has had a number of hits on YouTube and I have written the same song a few times as well. I put together a video/ interview on Youtube where I play one or two back to back.

Anyway, I am not sure the theme is brittliant….maybe clever? (Butta Face). But, some of YOUR lyrics were very very good as was the VIDEO.

Congrats on writing a hit…and keep in touch.

DAVID

Kevin,

I just received your email and wanted to respond to you as soon as I could. I wanted to let you know that it was not in fact your parody on Z100. I am the Executive Producer for the Elvis Duran Morning Show and I write the parodies for the show since 1998

We played my parody Butta Face. To this point I have not heard yours and I am sure it is funny but I didn’t want you to be disappointed if you tuned in and heard my song. Butta Face is an obvious parody of this sone [sic] so it doesn’t surprise me that more than one Comedy writer came up with it. I have also written Pimple Face to the original as well.

Again, I am sorry for any confusion.

David Brody
Executive Producer
Elvis Duran and the Morning Show

While it was great for them to write me back, I felt the need to respond:

David,

Thank you for getting back to me. It would have been really cool if it was mine but someone already broke the news to me on Facebook later in the day. Your email is pretty funny. Let’s look at “Butta Face is an obvious parody of the song so it doesn’t surprise me that more than one Comedy writer came up with it.” Can’t we give ourselves more credit than that? Maybe it’s not that obvious. You have been trained too much to handle things with the legal implications in mind. Did you think I was going to seek legal council* over a song I put on youtube for free even if I thought you stole it? I guess that just makes me sad for the state of the world that you have to write like that. You probably don’t even notice. Anyway, I really do appreciate you getting back to me. I think Butta Face is much better than Pimple Face (kinda makes me cringe). Take care and never steal one of my ideas again! Ever! My wife is a lawyer, more powerful than Jacoby, Meyers, and Roni Deutch combined. Tell Mr. Leonard I said hi.

Thanks,
Kevin Tor

If Z100 wants a one-sided word battle that they know nothing about due to my lack of readership, then it is on! I’m coming after them with guns filled with written words. There is no end to what I can write. Pimple Face? Really? Oof. (That was just a small example of the assault.)

Stay tuned, reader(s). It’s gonna be a (metaphorical) blood bath.

* I should have had my wife spell check this first.

In anticipation of the movie, I thought I would create a list of the things I’m hoping to see in the movie.

1. Nick Nolte as some sort of electricity monster.
2. Bill Hader doing Al Pacino (not an impression, though it would definitely make one).
3. Skulls made out of fine crystal.
4. A stalled ferris wheel with an awkward guy and the hot girl he’s in love with trapped at the top.
5. Someone going beyond the acceptable level of retard.
6. A cameo by Robert Pattinson as the dunk tank vampire clown.
7. A little girl doing a voice over of the “Now I lay me down to sleep” poem.
8. Wiig and Stewart Jello wrestle for the award of “Best Kristen.”
9. The pirate story from the “Adventureland” graphic novel.
10. McLovin shows up with Seth and Evan and the movie forgets all about the amusement park and becomes about Seth and Evan dealing with going back to college for their sophomore year and will they still be good friends by the next summer while McLovin is hilariously squeaky.