Kevin Tor

Nope. Nothing funny or attempting to be funny (depends how you view this site). Just simple holiday wishes from me to you, my loyal reader. So be safe and eat a ton (unless you can’t for some medical reason then take a big sniff). 

What do feminism and MC Skat Kat have in common? They both took two steps back. (I’m really proud of that one.) How did feminism take a step back you ask? Check out this ad I found in the Sears catalog:

Look how happy she is with her First Kenmore Stove and First Kenmore Fridge. Just adorable. Hey, I have an idea: If you buy the stove and fridge together, why not throw in an arm that she can use to smack herself in the face when she doesn’t finish pretend dinner on time?
Wow, Sears. Wow.

I went to see a private screening for the second time in a row. I guess there’s something to going to the movies with Manhattan’s elite. I was shocked when Chuck Bass accepted my invitation and jumped at the opportunity to shoot the movie poop with a socially superior teenager. We went to see Twilight, the sure-to-be hit based on the massively successful novels.

I found this by my car yesterday at the supermarket. I guess you can only piss the night away for so long. And now I’d like to applaud the person who lasted the longest before they became fed up with tubs being thumped. Congrats on setting the bar at 11 years. Myself, I lasted three months and before I fed it to a goat that I then hit with a bus.

When Jack Donaghy finally agreed to be on my show, I was elated. It took a rather extensive vetting process by his assistant, Jonathan, but I got through it with merely a warning.

This is the first video in a series of commercials from Remember The 90s, a product company helping your favorite music stars from the 90s make some extra scratch. This is the new product from House of Pain with spokesman Everlast.

There’s nothing like teaching your child to deflect blame at the earliest age possible. Is this supposed to be adorable? Think about the poor dog. Can the dog wear a shirt that says, “That baby’s a frickin’ liar!” Then the fight would be on, t-shirt style. I would continue to rant about this but then I ran across this shirt by the same company:

I went to see Role Models with Dr. House over the weekend. Well, I accompanied him to the movie so that he could watch another doctor (Dr. Wilson?) go on a date. We sat a few rows back of that couple and House barely paid attention to the movie. Also, he told me to keep it down when I laughed and sent me for concessions multiple times.

The following video was a finalist at the UCB Web Video Cram-Off and therefore aired as part of the New York Comedy Festival which is pretty frakkin’ cool. You had one week based on the suggestion word “bait” to write, shoot, and edit a sketch. I’d like to thank Morgan Venticinque and Chris Sifflet for being in it as well as myself for writing it.

While this video is a loser, there is still room for it in my heart but it’s towards the back of my heart where that slight weakness in the wall is that the doctors wouldn’t detect even with a thorough heart examination* and which will kill me early.

I descended the stairs today unconsciously singing “Ooh Child.” Screaming “Someday!” over and over again on my way to the kitchen, I played back what happened yesterday. Barack Obama was elected President of the United States.